Lesson 12: Honor space

I finally watched “The King’s Speech” over the holidays and was intrigued by the space people gave Prince Albert to work through his stuttering issue.

He would lash out or even insult his speech therapist and wife at times, but instead of yelling back to defend themselves (as I would have), they said nothing. Nothing. And how powerful was that?

It gave “Bertie” time to collect himself, kept the anger from escalating, and allowed him the space to reconsider. On his own.

The second thing I found so moving was how his therapist, after being so cruelly fired, had the calm and clarity to keep himself out of it and instead saw his patient’s pain. Like a lion lashing out with a thorn in his paw. “He’s afraid,” he tells his wife in the following scene.

“Apologize,” she advises.

I loved that – and want to be that. I know it’s a movie, but it’s possible in real life too. I have always been in a hurry. With my actions, thoughts, words – everything. Especially if I feel mistreated or threatened in any way.

I want to see the other person’s pain, instead of taking it on as my own. Or seeing it as an attack to be countered. But to do that I need space. A PAUSE after feeling the insult or injustice. Which requires me to WAIT before reacting.

To wait and let the Light come in and show the other person their work to be done. It’s not my job. I have enough on my plate letting go of my own reactive behavior.

More than anything in this new year, I wish for the space to wait. Before jumping on someone’s passive-aggressive comment or seemingly rude action, I want to notice and say nothing. I wish to trust the universe that it’s all in perfect order and here to help me learn to wait. I know that alone will make me a better friend, partner and soulmate. And someone that others want to be around.

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